We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
