she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
