i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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