3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
