If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
