i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
