Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
