Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
