sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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