He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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