Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
