I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
