whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
