im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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