Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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