dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Michael Bay diarrhea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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