covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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