My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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