i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
vagina is talking i cant
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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