you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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