Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
