three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
