My first STD was from a foam party
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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