its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
