do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
