I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
