Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
