Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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