note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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