Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
