Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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