My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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