New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
