omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
