just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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