Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
