Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
