farters have to be the big spoon...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize