I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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