Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We talked him into tasing himself.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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