dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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