Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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