He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
