We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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