It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
