i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You ate ashes out of my bong
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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