Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
