I'm so fucking centered right now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
