Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize