i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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