no you cant smoke seaweed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
