It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
