went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
