im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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