i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
