D3 body, D1 cock
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
