mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
too bad you live with your parents still
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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