with your own penis?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize