Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wat bout pragnant strippers??
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
